For the past 4 weeks, I have been taking part in an on-board crew competition called “The Biggest Loser”. It’s a similar to the reality TV show of the same name. The only difference is we’re not morbidly obese, we’re not put through grueling exercise classes and we aren’t forced to have an extreme nutrition makeover. We basically have a fitness assessment at the start, are given some advice on how to improve and are also encouraged to attend crew gym classes which are held twice a week. It’s actually a welcome change to have some healthy crew activities rather than the usual fare of parties which people attend in order to self-medicate.We are currently halfway through and I’ve kept a bit of a journal to document the process:
Day 1: (191lbs) First day of the challenge. Let’s do this! I can’t believe I’ve put on 8lbs since November, all those fat days finally made me fat. NEVER AGAIN. Did a spinning class which almost killed me. But I was victorious and celebrated with a bottle of wine at wine & cheese.
Day 2: (190 lbs) Okay that wine last night was probably a bad idea. But still, 1 pound down, yes! Elliptical trainer today.
Day 3: Boot camp class. Wow, I sweat more than a whore in church.
Day 4: Why haven’t I lost any more weight?! Maybe the scale is broken. My body aches so much.
Day 5: Weight training today. I feel invincible. I am Spartacus.
Day 6: Damn free wine. Today is going to be a cheat day. No yoga class tonight.
Day 7: I think I’ll have a short nap before the gym. (4 hours later) Fuck. I guess this is another cheat day. Might as well go out for drinks tonight!
Day 8: (189 lbs) Right, time to get back on track. Time to bring out the big guns: Red Bull. (Shortly after, I find out the staff bar is sold out of Red Bull). How DARE they stand in my way of success?! I chug a Diet Coke and head to the gym.
Day 9: Today, I’m taking my workout to the next level. Roar! (after 15 mins) Fuck, I’m over it.
Day 10: Kickboxing class was fun. Until I let out a huge fart when doing a jump-kick.
Day 11: Fuck it. Cheat day.
Day 12: Ugh. Lazy. I think I’ll watch cartoons and eat some Snickers.
Day 13: I’m having a fat day.
Day 14: I’ve lost momentum. Meh.
Day 15: Too much work, so no time for the gym. But there’s time to get drunk tonight!
Day 16: Spinning class. Dizzy now.
Day 17: 40 minutes on the stairmaster. Trying to sculpt sexy legs ya’know.
Day 18: I was robbed today. Extra rage was channeled into a marathon cardio session.
Day 19: Feeling sore from yesterday so just did some walking.
Day 20: Yoga session today which was surprisingly hard. Wish I was more bendy.
Day 21: Weight session. Is it vain to check yourself out in the mirror while working out?
Day 22: Cheat Day.
Day 23: Stomach bug. I guess I cheated too much yesterday.
Day 24: I decided to get drunk instead of work out.
Day 25: I was going to go to the gym but forgot about it and ended up getting shit-faced instead. Weird how it seems like I drink in moderation when compared with your average crew member, even if I binge drink!
Day 26: Too hungover to work out.
Day 27: Bah. Lost momentum again. Cartoons tonight!
Day 28: I got ridiculously drunk instead of the gym. Um, cheat day?
Day 29: (185lbs) Weight session, time to take the weight to the next level!
Looks like all that working out shaved off only 2lbs but the stomach bug made me lose another 4lbs. In conclusion, getting sick seems like the most effective way to lose weight. That’s why I don’t understand why people stress about catching Gastrointestinal Illness on cruise ships – it’s the best diet you could go on. I’m still 3lbs heavier than last summer and 5lbs heavier than my goal weight. Maybe if I’m lucky, I’ll get sick again!