Why Journalists Suck Ass

Posted by:     Tags:      Posted date:  January 17, 2011  |  11 Comments
Insert Drawing :)

I have decided that I hate journalists. Not the independent ones, just the ones that work for mainstream media. I happened to be watching the news yesterday and the highlights were oil slips in the gulf, poverty in Haiti, war in Afghanistan, the healthcare crisis in USA and riots in Tunisia. Basically, THE WORLD SUCKS AND WE ARE HEADING TO A MAYAN APOCALYPSE.

I want to know who decided that news had to be depressing? Is this some strategic marketing tactic just to sell more Prozac? It’s like people go to journalism school and they are taught that the glass is half empty. And then someone steals their half empty glass, smashes it and gouges their eyes out with the broken shards. And then they have to write about that experience in 2000 words or less.

Have you noticed that there will be like 9 horrible stories followed by 1 patronizingly nice story. Why even bother?! Just tell me your 10 horrible stories. I’m already depressed anyway. That last one story isn’t going to make me all warm and fuzzy now.

Or here’s an idea. Why don’t they use their journalism skills to find more happy stories? Why not write a story about a man who open an un-openable jar or the invention of a panda suit or Craigslist orgy parties. Okay that last one did not end with a happy-ending. But at least it’s funny.

I know why. Because journalists are a bunch of depressive debbie downers who have no friends. That’s why bloggers have to step up and write happy stories like about free hugs in Korea or discovering new games you can play with a brick or latest findings about the vagina.

Hey journalist-people, the world does not suck. Corporations suck But of course, many journalists are owned by the corporations so they keep their mouths shut about that one. Fine, then keep your depressing stories to yourself and just tell me happy warm fuzzy stories. Preferably something involving unicorns.

So what’s your opinion on journalists? Good or bad?

[cruisesurfer’s log sea-date: 71:7:2 | 3:48]

About Me


I'm a wanderer, couchsurfer, writer, illustrator, uncoordinated dancer, unwitting minimalist, party enthusiast, free hugger and now a crewman. Follow me @roymarvelous .................................................................................................................... Also, find out how to work on cruise ships. Or check out the new T-shirt & Card store.






Wanna say something?






 

11 Comments for Why Journalists Suck Ass

Petersson

When I was in the States for 5 months I had lot of time on my hands and was watching TV news a lot and I got exactly the same expression as you have. It is all about grabbing viewers´ attention and bad news will do it more likely. It is a shame. P.S. Glad to find out news about vagina. You make me crack up!

Isabel

Most Journalists don't research their facts in a non biased way, most jounalists are too influenced by what they assume is the current opinion of the day….most are not couragous enough to to stand up to governments or where the money comes from. Few that do, are shut in jail (eg. Julian Assage). Most just want you to FEAR everything so they have power over you…..

dar

Journalists need to eat and get pished at the weekend too…

It's probably because the people who pay the journalists want bad news because bad news is what lots of consumers want. Then the people come and watch ads, If there was a decent market for a mainstream "happy paper" or sunshine news at 6 Rupert Murdoch would be all over it. The advertisers control it.

Many of the things you mention there appeal to leftest extreme liberal folk.Almost everyone that i mention free hugs to outside of CS thinks i'm completely bonkers. A hell of a lot of CS/free huggers/free thinkers are cheap bastids. Myself included. I only buy shit on sales and i try my best not to buy things i don't need.

Advertisements don't work on us. Why make media for us?

Now I know seth has a billion views a second but in reality most blogs are niche specifc and have smallish readerships. They cant pay journalists for happy news stories.Who will ?

And anyways, its awesome that journalists travel to war zones to tell us how shitty is there for everyone. I wouldn't want to do it! But i am moved when i see a photo of a mom holding her starving kid. Makes me less of a cheap bastid when the charities come calling! (not much though)

    Roy Marvelous

    I see it a different way, mate. When people are happy, they are harder to control. So make them afraid of the world and they will do your bidding. Bwahaha.

    As for whether people would pay for happy news. Well, people pay for happy movies so why not happy news!

cruisesurfing

I see it a different way, mate. When people are happy, they are harder to control. So make them afraid of the world and they will do your bidding. Bwahaha.

As for whether people would pay for happy news. Well, people pay for happy movies so why not happy news!

intrepidtraveller

Great post Roy, and so true! I may have studied to become a Journalist but have no intention of spending the rest of my life writing depressing stories for some mainstream newspaper. No way Jose!

Why I Like To Suck (And Other Things I Find Cathartic) | Cruisesurfingz

[…] that when people ask you about your day and you then proceed into a long-winded monologue about how Fox News is evil, they tend to get glassy-eyed. So instead, I started writing. My goal was simply to try to write […]

Know_The_Facts

I suspect that none of you who have commented here actually are journalists, have spent time with journalists, or have spent a considerable amount of time around newsrooms. I am a former journalist. There are two critical points you should recognize. First, the First Amendment, which got sent to the States 1789, and which became ratified in 1791, came off of a war for our independence. The presumption was that the press was to critically examine government, bringing to light all that might go wrong so as to avoid malcontent, usurpation of power, and, in essence, another revolution. So, what the public considers as "bad" or "negative" is seen by journalists as shining a light on a problem that society should confront and perhaps fix. Second, the bigger issue right now is money. Journalists don't make any. Even large markets are hiring reporters for $30,000 to $40,000 a year. Most have little experience. This increases profits but creates a hoard of information gatekeepers who know very little about their subjects. I had to argue this past summer with a reporter in Albany, N.Y., who kept saying that the same-sex marriage debate was a "civil rights" issue under the law. Every first-year law student can tell you that marriage is Constitutionally-governed as a "fundamental right" and that the area of law is not the same. Faced with employment by companies that didn't care about good investigations or even accurate reporting, I decided to take my time and my brain elsewhere. Hope this provides some insight.

    Roy Marvelous

    Thank you for the thoughtful reply and insight!

Why I Still Feel Safe On A Cruise Ship > Roy Marvelous – Cruise Ships & CouchSurfing. Work & Travel Around The World!

[…] and other natural disasters in Haiti, Japan and New Zealand, the real world seems like a sensational action movie. But then to watch another cruise ship sink on live TV, now that hits a bit closer to […]