Hooters St Thomas = No Happy Ending

Posted by:     Tags:      Posted date:  December 31, 2010  |  Comment
Insert Drawing :)

We were in St. Thomas today. We thought we’d mix it up a bit and go to a restaurant rather than a beach. St. Thomas is part of the US Virgin Islands. There seems to be loads of rainforests, hills, beaches, a Walmart and a Hooters restaurant.

So Hooters it was. People seem to rave about Hooters so I thought I’d see what’s the big deal. To sum it up, you have attractive girls with big boobs and tight clothing serve you overpriced pub grub. I had wings and they were merely satisfactory, at least it wasn’t rice with mystery meat. The service was less than satisfactory however.

I still don’t get the concept of Hooters. Firstly, are people going to eat food or stare at boobs? Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against objectifying women. I just don’t get the point. It’s not like I get to take those boobs home to play with.

Besides, when I’m hungry I don’t care about boobs. I want food. So some half naked woman serving me when I’m hungry just confuses me. It also confuses the blood circulation in my body and probably leads to poor disgestion ie. no happy ending. In fact, I rather go to a restaurant where the servers are dressed up like burgers and wings. Or a burrito.

That would be amazing.

Secondly, in my experience, when a girl is hot and knows she is hot enough to get a job where her primary skill is being hot, she’s going to be bitchy. Do I really want to get bitchy service?! Put it another way, would women want to go to a restaurant called Dicks, where they employ guys with huge penises in tight pants? Imagine when they come to take your order and you’re not ready, he could freak out with “Hey, I have a big dick. I don’t need to take this shit“.

In conclusion, I believe that having a business model based on gargantuan appendages is like playing with a loaded gun. Everyone wants to play with it but it always ends in tears. Hooters – never again.

cruisesurfer’s log sea-date: 53:5:2 | 26:48
About Me


I'm a wanderer, couchsurfer, writer, illustrator, uncoordinated dancer, unwitting minimalist, party enthusiast, free hugger and now a crewman. Follow me @roymarvelous .................................................................................................................... Also, find out how to work on cruise ships. Or check out the new T-shirt & Card store.



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[…] were in St Thomas again. I always enjoy it here. And as long as you can stay away from the temptation of visiting the local Hooters, I think you’ll be okay. I’ve never liked Hooters. Not because I think it’s […]